I'm going to put all this in my book bag because I've understates the
wound what's going on? It's your boy ambition and welcome to another episode of The my FB podcast and today with me I have Miss Dana Humphrey and Dana is adept or his I think that would be the word adept in Bikram yoga meditation, along with other spiritual sciences with, if you will. And I did get a chance to check out your website. Your website is amazing. By the way, I love that the first thing that hits you is that codependent
Dana Humphrey 0:40
mind map. So that's amazing. Everybody go to Dana humphreys.com. Amazing website. How're you doing today, Dana? Great. Thank you so much for saying that. I feel like a lot of people, like don't really get it.
Dana Humphrey 0:56
I made that mind map so people can try to understand like what codependency is, what are some of the traits around it? And what are the like, once you get through it? What's the outcome?
Oh, nice. Nice. I'm definitely going to you know, show it to the rest of my family is like so the rest of you guys need to get, you know, play the big narcissist, if you will. But um, how did you actually get into the trauma reconciliation side of the house? Right, like, um, you know, I'm saying this because a lot of people get into the industry of spirituality. And I know I'm talking about it from industry terms, you got to excuse me, it's business, Comcast, right. But I look at spirituality as an industry. A lot of people get into the industry, and there's a lot of people in purpose and fulfillment, and then you get a lot of people in love and light. And then you get people like yourself, where they get down to the nitty gritty. And they're like, look, this is really what people are going through, out in the world. And I often, the few death, doulas that I have known of, that's their approach. So how did you get into the trauma side of spirituality versus, you know, everybody smiling and playing in the roses?
Dana Humphrey 2:17
I mean, you know, I was talking to someone last night, we were laughing, like, you know, most coaches were the coach that we need, like, I didn't just, you know, think like, oh, what's a good area to get into? Like, I've had some trauma, I think, I think almost everybody has I define trauma, maybe a little bit more loosely than then some folks do. I think that, you know, depending on our life, we all have a little bit of PTSD. And yeah, I just found myself in, in delving into different healing modalities for myself and seeing what's working. And I've, you know, tried a lot of things, I've done a lot of things. And I feel like I'm finally at a place where I can, I have a wealth of resources, I have a bunch of stuff in my toolbox. And if anybody else is experiencing, you know, any kind of problem, I probably have an idea that could probably help them. So it came from my own need to heal myself. And honestly, I've, I've, you know, run. I've been running a PR firm for last 15 years and been a professor and I've had all kinds of different hats that I wear as different business stuff or whatever. And I just, you know, through the pandemic, actually, I found myself, I was living in Guatemala, I was just kind of like looking at how I spend my lifeforce energy. And I decided, like, I don't want to spend my life sending emails on behalf of other people. Like that can't be how my life is like. And, and really, that's kind of what marketing is, like, you know, first of all, telling people what problems they have, so they can buy some stuff to fix it. And second of all, it's just, you know, sitting behind a computer and sending a lot of emails and I shaved my head as a reminder to myself to not get sucked into the seduction of marketing, and to really make a pivot to, like, share different healing modalities with people that I've learned along the way.
Okay, nice. Nice. I love that. So we were talking quickly, you know, for our listeners, we were talking before the podcast, and when we physically did a swap as in you grew up in California, and now live in New York City. And I grew up in New York City and now live in California. But I feel when you talk about you know, your journey, as well. I also think we did a swap Right. Um, you know, I came out of cybersecurity started my bit Business and my business started as like, I wanted to run up this business, this business course, basically just help people start their businesses. And as I ran into it, I realized like, oh, there's a whole bunch of reasons why people aren't starting their businesses, right. So then I got caught up in the hypnotherapy side of it, right? And as I got into hypnotherapy, I was like, Oh, this this is too much for me two hours of in depth trauma. Talk is too too much for me, right? Like I, I'm good on this,
Dana Humphrey 5:38
okay, as a participant or hypnotherapy as a hypnotherapist
as a Hypnotherapist.
Dana Humphrey 5:43
Okay, you didn't want to deal with everybody's stuff.
Yeah. But even as a participant, because when I did it, too, I was like, ah, like, I don't like, it's my stuff. But like, I'm so emotionally detached and like, shut that up, right? Like, I'm sitting there, like, Oh, shut up. What am I whining about now. So I'm like, I did it. I got through it. You know, I did it for a year, it was really impactful. And because I saw how impactful it was, I saw the need for it. I kept the skill for myself, right? still use it for myself use it in house as a leadership tool. But then I just got sucked into the seduction of marketing. I was like, this seems a lot more fun. This seems like, I can just tell people what their problem is, and go here. And that's what I'm looking for.
Dana Humphrey 6:36
That's funny, you know, it's like that stuff is the stuff we have to do. Like, I just came from physical therapy. And like, I stopped going for a while because I didn't like it. And it's like, well, yeah, and it didn't, my problem didn't get better. So I had to go back. And I had to change my attitude and be like, yes, there's a good therapy, like, here we go. And now it feels better.
Okay, no, I feel that, um, I guess my thing was more like, it really is like, I'm not a people person. Like even before that mentioned, I was doing cybersecurity in cybersecurity, you aren't dealing with people, I'm dealing with numbers. So that switch to marketing is a simple switch. But the switch to like a one on one, intimate life coaching type stuff. And hypnotherapy is not my wheelhouse, not that I'm not a nurturing person. But I don't want to sit down and listen to it all day. I can't write. But I do hope people get through it. And I'll suggest that they go to people like you. But it it took me being honest with myself, like, Oh, I'm breaking up with this. And then more. So recently, I was doing one on one coaching. And I think I'm breaking up with that to think, Oh, interesting.
Dana Humphrey 7:49
Yeah, I'm doing we're doing a full switcheroo. Like, I had to get honest with myself and break up with my marketing clients. And you know, they want to keep me and I'm like, no, no, no, no, I just can't. And I want to do I want to listen to people. I want to be there for people and help individuals versus companies.
I do like that. I do like that. And I'm just more so going down the path. And I have a great question for you to put in this little hole. Right. Got this one in the back pocket. But I'm more in a place of I like helping people Yes. Right. Because I had a coach and when I mistakenly said in the coaching call, like, I don't think I like Goji he's like, No, you got to remember you like coaching you like helping people. And I was like, Yeah, but not like this, right? So I think what I'm moreso leaning towards is the education platforms and just putting out my courses, and then getting speaking engagements. I think that's more my speed. But I say that to say people have to be honest on what's good for them. Right like it and it's not that I did have to go through all of those ways to just really see like, Okay, this isn't for me, this isn't for me, this isn't for me. This is where I would like to be. But you know, as you go through it, you realize like no, I really do like this for that person over there. This is great. Like if you're actively choosing this and you can do it that's great, but one on one, coaching is a bit stressful for me. But in this coming from military veteran, I can bench 350 pounds. It's a different type of strength, right and I'm perfectly fine saying I'm weak in it. Okay with that.
Dana Humphrey 9:44
said though, is important. It's like to figure out sometimes to figure out what we want we have to figure out what we don't want and you know, sometimes that's just the way it is and yeah, it's great that we're all different. We know everybody you know, all this stuff can be met happening,
right? But, and it's the same thing. Like, I'm pretty sure the way that it would feel for you like, I love the podcast, like the podcast is amazing, right? I could deep dive into somebody's, you know, emotional shit during the podcast, but it doesn't feel Ultra professional like, I don't have the I don't have the financial weight on it. Right? Whether I'm making money with the podcast or not, it's just something that we're doing. So that's always good. But the question I had for you that was sitting in the pocket was for people out there who are trying to figure that out for themselves, right, like, figure out whether or not one on one coaching is the way that they'd like to go as an entrepreneur? Or, you know, whether or not they want to go more of a group cohort? Or do they not want to do lives at all? Right? Are they looking to put out a more polished or presented image? What advice do you have for those people?
Dana Humphrey 11:00
I hear like five questions in there. I'm so Okay. When it comes to like, deciding, like, Okay, I think I'd like some support, right, whether it's for my business or for my life, and honestly, you know, I've had a lot of support, one of my coaches always says, like, like, love life or business, like pick one, it's all the same problems, like you can, you know, you can pick any sector that you want to focus on the problem, and it's gonna, like trickle out to the other ones, right. And I really believe that and so you know, whether you want yeah, if you're looking for support in your business, and then it just depends on your style. Like I've done one on one coaching, I've been group coaching as a participant and providing it. And you know, I like both it for different reasons. So you just have to kind of figure out your style, when it comes to the idea of doing lives. You know, I think being able to get on camera and do a live is a great practice. And I actually do VIDEO VIXEN challenge every year, it's a 30 day live video challenge ratio every single day and just share different prompts, different topics. And there's, you know, right away you know, something that I talk about in codependency is like, the need to be perfectionist or having this want to have the perfect video, right, or there's kind of, I think it's also maybe generational, there's a certain generation of people that are like, Oh, I can't do a live I have to, it has to be professional video. And being able to overcome that and just show up how you are show up with, you know, like, right now my cat's jumping around, like, he could just jump in the middle of this, and I'm just gonna roll with it. And letting go of the attachment to like the perfect outcome or the perfect edit. And just being like, yeah, I am human. I'm here, this is my video, I'm showing you who you are, who I am, is also maybe scary or challenging for people because it is a little bit vulnerable. You're shocked, you're like showing up as is as a human as yourself. And, and then if you're also trying to, like, do a live for your company. Now you have additional stress and pressure of like, whatever you think that company image is supposed to be like, and you know, am I representing myself in the way that I want my company image to be? But I think doing lives is a great practice. And really, it's about quantum physics. Oh, it's like, to me, the definition of quantum physics is like the thing that is observed changes. So you know, you could be like, I have a great story. I was in Amsterdam, and a park. And this little kid, like this little, little tiny baby was like in the fountain like having a blast, right? Like having a good time. Laughing cracking up, and then the mom's like trying to take a video of him. As soon as she like, starts taking a video of him, he starts crying. He's like, no, like, I'm not trying to be on video. Like he couldn't even speak. He was like one. And it was like you could see it happening. And then she put the camera away, and then he'd go back to having fun. And then I'm back out with the camera. And he was like, why? And it's like that, like how can we it's like the thing that is observed or the thing that is recorded, shifts and change. So how can you practice showing up in front of other people and watch yourself change and evolve through that process?
No, I definitely agree. And that's also why this is an unfiltered podcast and very raw just because I want to have you know, real calm relations with people. And if you send people a list of scripted questions, you'll get a in return, you'll get scripted answers, right? But when you are alive and you ask a real question, there's something that comes up that reminds me of something else. Like, for example, you brought up quantum physics. I was like, Oh, that reminds me in the episode with such and such, which is pretty funny. It was another spiritual person. Right? His name's input karma. I call him the Kung Fu sage of LA. is really cool guy, right? But we started having a whole conversation about stroking this cat. So I was like, Oh, this is seeming to be a thing. Quantum physics and spirituality go hand in hand. But that I just noticed is the real it was real funny. Like, okay, second time. Interesting thing that came up, right, but more so I really wanted to get into more of the conversation about codependency. Right? What are some of the ways that a person can realize that they are being codependent? And what are some of the ways that we kind of hide those truths from ourselves?
Dana Humphrey 16:19
That's a beautiful question. That's the That's the essence of it right there. It's like yeah, being codependent is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Like, nobody wants to admit that. And so yeah, even you know, having a coaching business where I specialize in codependence, it's like, first, the person has to realize that they're codependent or admit to themselves that they're codependent. And how does that show up, it's like, being needy, being people pleasing, looking outside yourself. Outside validation, like looking outside yourself for for everything. And could be also feeling like you're invisible. Again, it's like all it's really kind of like outside seeking. So it's like seeking, seeking outside attention for your sense of self and your sense of validation and to be seen and to get your needs met. And so people pleasing, like, codependency and narcissism are really the same thing. They're like different sides of the same coin. They both are using manipulation tactics to get what they want and need. So people pleaser is just doing it in a, the codependents doing it in a
with in the dark. Okay, so So the narcissism is still there. It's just in the dark, it's in the shadow. And so, you know, an example of like, people pleasing as manipulation might be like, maybe your dog barks a lot, okay, you have a new neighbor, and you don't want them to complain to you about the dog barking. So you like make them cookies and bring them to them and give them a big welcome. It's not like an unconditional gift of like, Hey, welcome to the neighborhood, here's some cookies. There's like a, there's like something attached to it of like, I'm going to be nice to you, because I want you to be nice to me. And that's where it becomes manipulative. And that's where, you know, codependents want to not take responsibility and be like, no, no, no, it's just because I'm being nice with the cookie. It's just like, if you want to really get honest with yourself and figure out what your motive is, then you know, then we can talk about it. And, you know, sometimes it is a it's not like because you bring cookies to your neighbor, there has to be something attached to it. But But often, there is.
I do agree with that, right? Like my follow up question, I thought of two immediately. Number one would be if you're the person who's on the receiving end of this codependency and they're hiding the truth from you, obviously, and they're probably hiding the truth from themselves. How can you actually figure out the truth, right, this person is here because they liked me, or this person is here because they want something out of it. How do you figure it out before waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Dana Humphrey 19:46
Well, okay, you said a lot there. Okay, so fit. So, I mean, right now I'm at a place in my journey where I'm trying to like not figure stuff out. Not trying to like put meaning on everything and figure stuff out. I'm trying to actually drop in To my body and see how stuff feels. Gotcha. So when you're kind of like in your mind, like, Oh, let me figure this out, it can also be confusing.
And you know, there's no such thing as a free gift, basically.
You know, it's, you know, you know, like, you don't have to accept the gift. That's not something you have to do. You know, if you feel like there's like some stickiness there of like, oh, this gift is wrapped in like a favor? Like, you know, you don't have to accept it.
Right? No, I completely agree with that. And I think there's also something to be said, like, you know, when when you talk about, you know, your emotional well being and mental health, it's more about balanced, and it is one side versus the other. So just because someone offers you a gift, and they have an expectation, or they offer you something, right, someone made an offer to you, and they expect something in return. That doesn't mean everyone who expects something for something is a bad person. And I say that because I run into that one a lot, right? Especially when you start your coaching business, or you, especially when you're doing any sort of business, I had someone say, Oh, well, you know, you just given advice and advice be free. I was like, Well, no, because the experience wasn't right, like, getting to the point where I could have this advice to give you is in free like so. Yeah, things that I say are free, the podcast is free, but scripted within a program. That's something different, you're paying for the effort and time that I put into this. So that's one thing I always like to remind our, I felt like I always had to remind my clients as well. Right?
Dana Humphrey 21:54
I feel like it's like, it's like personal training, like you want to go work out? Go ahead. We all know how to do it. It's not like that hard, like, you know, like, but if you want, like, yeah, that's, you know, that's free going for a run is free, and having someone sit with you for an hour and make you go for that run, that's an hour of their time. And so that why would that be free? Like, if you don't have the, you know, if you don't, if you don't, sometimes, and sometimes actually that monetary thing, like actually paying that person for that hour makes you get more real about it, and just the fact that you're paying for that time, helps you be accountable. So, you know, it's sure Google is free, you want to just google your product. Go ahead, like,
yeah, it's a ton of results. And that's really what people are paying for. You're paying for somebody who's filtered through the information and found a system that works, right like that. That's majority of it. Okay, so why would you want to add something? Yeah, of course, of course.
Dana Humphrey 23:08
So there's something I talked about with one of my, one of the one of my friends a lot is like, oh, that's like, Oh, that's easy. Let me just do that. Take me five seconds. And it's like, it's not five seconds. It's like 10 years of learning and studying and doing it and practice and failure and winning. Plus five seconds, you know, it's like, it's not going to take you five seconds, because you haven't done it 5 million 1000 times figuring out all the quick shortcuts, how to do it. So I think about that sometimes, too. It's like, oh, that's easily missed you it's five seconds, but it's like, the value of it is actually there's a lot more to it.
Right. And like I was saying to you about that before when I was doing hypnotherapy, that's when I really started understanding the time, even if it's a 30 minute session, right, which, you know, with rapid induction techniques you could do, even if it is something that short, it's still a process that you have to go through as the Hypnotherapist. So that kickback really helps you understand like, No, I should be charging this for this. I shouldn't be charging this. Right. Um, and that's helpful too, right? For those of you who have products or service or services that are hard to attach a tangible price to, how does it make you feel after the work is done? How much of yourself did you give right that matters in that cost? I definitely think that's something people should look at. So energy exchange, exactly right. Throughout your spiritual journey throughout your journey of masking the skills, learning the knowledge, what what was like the What was one epiphany moment for you like, it just kind of opened up your eyes, like you realize that, you know, from here on out with this piece of information, I can see life through a different lens.
Dana Humphrey 25:14
So interesting like, like 50 things just flashed in front of me. I'm a very visual person. So I see things like in pictures. So I'll just pick this one. I was having like a lot of back pain. I had been diagnosed with like a C 65 herniated disc situation. And I ended up getting this free book called Healing back pain by Dr. John Sarno. And, you know, I feel like it was very serendipitous even just the way I got the book, like I was going, I went to acupuncture, I was waiting in the acupuncture place, I just like picked up this book, I started reading it, and the guy came out, he's like, Oh, that was our, in our free book pile. There's books everywhere, right? And I'm like, Oh, this is a free book pie. Like, okay, I couldn't stop reading it. I like, fast tracked it so that later that night, I got to a part, it's basically said his theory is that back pain is stored emotions in the body. And I was like, Yeah, this is what is happening. This is this is what is my problem. This is 100% my problem. And he went on to say, like, you know, only about 5% of people are going to be willing to accept that, you know, because it's physical. And so we want to have like, a physical explanation, solve for it, right, like, but I've done all the physical solve, and you know, I've done the shots in the neck, I've done the chiropractor, I've done like, literally every healing modality possible. And I was like, Okay, now I'm gonna get honest with myself and accept this. And just from accepting in my mind that my body physical sensation was coming from emotions. The next day, I felt 80% better. Wow. And I had had had extreme pain for months.
Wow, that so that does remind me of a type of hypnotherapy that we do call command cell therapy, right. And what it basically says and what the logic behind it is, is that every symptom of every disease and every illness is created first in the mind, and then spreads to the rest of the body. So if you tell your mind that everything is fine, it will be fine. Right? It will sell send signals to the places that are aching, that things are fine. And things will be fine. Yeah. But that's immediately what that reminded me of, because it's, it is that sort of thing. It is the emotion behind it. It's the belief even Well, yeah, and that's something that I had people struggle with as well is okay. You know, I had someone come to me one time and variety of issues, right, I had one person about weight loss. And the reason that they were having issues with weight loss was attached to the relationship that they were in that they did not want to be in. Right. So it was like, oh, and it was just like time and time again, what I realized is that these are situations that we're putting ourselves in, that if we were just being honest with ourselves, we would not be in the situation anyway, wouldn't even be in the pain. Right? The physical ailment wouldn't exist, because you would have told so and so to kick rocks, or, you know, that that's the sort of thing that I realized. So I'm glad that we're on the same page there.
Dana Humphrey 29:00
Yeah, I think like, one of my friends says, you know, pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. You know, it's like, we're all going to experience hardships that's going to happen, you know, like, trying to think that that's not going to be true, but then are you going to, you know, take that problem and be like, Oh, my God, you know, and really, like, sit in it and stay in it and, you know, move it around and dig deeper. And like, really get yourself in there. Are you gonna just be like, Okay, that's the problem and like, now, now, where do I proceed from here?
I love the fact that you said that. One of the things that, you know, I've started telling, you know, members of my family is like, yeah, I get it, something happened to right. But just because you've been through something traumatic doesn't mean that you get to turn yourself into a trauma monster, right? And that's where the residual We'll have everything that's left behind Morphew and come towards you to where, you know, let's say you were this nice little girl. And now you're scowling at everybody, you are always telling somebody what to do, or you know, you have an attitude. And it's one of the things, it's one thing to understand why that is, it's another thing to understand that you shouldn't be that way, if you have a problem with how people react to you. And that's the motivator that I tell people, if you, if you get offended when people don't want to be around you, then there's a behavior that you shouldn't be looking at changing, right? Or you can just accept the fact that if you choose to continue with this behavior, people aren't going to want to be around you. It's not a good or a bad thing. It just is what it is.
Dana Humphrey 30:51
Yeah, it's like, you know, you know, I'm interested in being in flow and being in flow in my life. And whenever we have resistance, right, that's where we have struggle. It's like, we're not flowing with what the universe has given us. And you can choose to, you know, stay in resistance and wonder, like, why and be in your own little pity party and trauma monster like that. You know, or, and try to get figuring it out. Like, why did this happen? And why my hair or just be like, okay, yep, this this is shitty, and and I don't want it to be like that anymore.
No, I agree. And that's, that's all people need to do is just make the decision. Yeah.
Dana Humphrey 31:44
Man, you know, I've had this week, I had a couple of things that were kind of causing a little bit of anxiety for me. And finally, and I just last night, like, I made two decisions. And like today, I'm like, Ah, yes. I forgot. Like, sometimes when you're in it, it's hard to remember. But, you know, sometimes making a decision is just like, settles everything. It's like, now you don't have to be in the fog of it anymore.
Oh, yeah. That that is one of my things. Right. So I once had someone read my human design, and they were like, Ooh, you really hate in decisiveness? I was like, Yeah, I got a problem with it. Like, it's gotten big. Right. Design a manifesting generator. Yeah. So it wasn't one of the things they were saying was like, Oh, I can't deal with in decisiveness, as like, I can't I really have a genuine distaste for it. Right? It? It seems like the source of so many problems is like, you don't know what you're doing next. Right? And I can accept someone's I don't know, it's, I don't like it for myself. Right? Like, I have to know for myself, right? And if if my decision is ever dependent on you knowing something and you don't know, like, okay, great, I can make whatever decision I want to make. That's exactly how I take it. And I've realized saying that out loud, how negative that could be interpreted. For some people because no Imagine you're in a relationship with a guy he goes, Oh, you go oh, you know, something go I don't know. And it's like alright, well, I'm gonna go do XYZ and I guess that can be looked at negatively, but whether it's looked at negatively or not, like decisiveness
Dana Humphrey 33:40
yeah I mean, it's it's really just taking care of yourself which is really what we all need to do. You know, doesn't mean to not look out for each other too. But yeah, I think I think it's a good way to go I mean
yeah, it's basically there's probably an element that you're not wanting to accept which is why you're staying in the unknown.
Um, I guess the staying in the unknown for me, means I'm deliberately sacrificing my power or deliberately giving up my power right. So I can choose to participate I can choose to not participate but for me I have to acknowledge my choice. Yeah. Sounds very masculine.
Dana Humphrey 34:44
Your name is ambition I you know I do think also like our names like sheep us like, or like it has something to do with how we are.
No, no, I My first name is actually a que, right? Okay, but this is my chosen name. But even with that, like that, that one is a cluster fuck as well. How do you there, but it really is this space of if I, if I calculate, right because I'm one of those people logic to the end of it, if I calculate the amount of times that n decisiveness has brought me an issue, right? Versus the issues that came with decisiveness, right? It's like, okay, I can understand if I choose, I can keep choosing. Right, and whether this thing is good or bad. At least I chose it. Yeah. Right. It's almost like the value of freedom. I think I look back to you know, I was in a call and I talked about that, when I was in an episode six. So as a teenager, I was in a cult. So it's, this idea of not having freedom is not okay to me. And part of having freedom is choice. And I guess I just want to make all of it. So let me ask you a question. What what do you consider to be your favorite client? Like your favorite type of client? person comes in today? You just love dealing with them? Why do you love dealing with them?
Dana Humphrey 36:33
Um, they're willing and open to accept new ideas. Yeah. The person that's like, wow, like, I don't know. Okay, well, if you already knew how to figure this out, you'd already do it. So let's try something new.
And, okay, so I want to say are typically so in terms of archetypes, if you had to break people down into characteristics and labels and I know it's something that a lot of people don't like to do, but what archetype do you say would you say is most accepting of these new ideas? Gosh, any chosen system you choose
Dana Humphrey 37:29
how many artists interesting I guess I see myself as like a little bit of a pirate
and and I think that the I think the people that could benefit most from working for me are like, is like the maiden. Like, so naive. And my family you know, kind of like in their feminine like, oh, everything's great. Like, my, everyone has my, you know, greatest good looking out for me. Yeah,
I like I like the idea of the pirate. Right? There's elements of the Wonder but Right. There's when you say a pirate, I think a moral. Right. So then that brings up the question, would you? Do you relate with the morality of the pirate? Not that? No, there's no right or wrong answer here. Right? Or are you sitting in the so essentially, do you believe that there's a right or wrong? Or are we just Shades of Grey?
Dana Humphrey 39:06
I don't believe there's a right or wrong? Yes.
Yes. Another one. So. Because
Dana Humphrey 39:15
right and wrong gets us into a lot of trouble, or this good and bad. gets us into a lot of trouble.
I'm glad that you agree. Because there's so many people that like have this conversation with me. I was like, oh, leaving right or wrong. I think it's shades of gray. And everybody chooses their own thing. And they're like, Oh, well, no, there's an objective morality. I was like, No, it's relative moralism. Right, like, that's all there is to it. Yeah, so I definitely agree with that. Um, but talk to us a little bit more this. What system was that Ark was those archetypes from the pirate and that made them sounded pretty interesting. I liked um,
Dana Humphrey 40:00
Honestly, when I was living in Guatemala, I had a lemon roommates and we were always kind of like coming up with different things. And one week, he decided to do kind of like a deep dive into the archetypes. And so we had, like, 100 that we were looking at. And so, yeah, I remember the, you know, like the meeting and the Crone, like, you know it, that's a pretty powerful, that's a pretty powerful system, right there. You know, the pirates kind of like out there doing whatever means necessary to get stuff done. I don't know all of the different archetype systems, honestly. Yeah. I
mean, I think there's too many to really know. Right? I know, for example, you know, there's what so for everyone listening when we say archetypes, talking about like systems of characters that are representative of the personalities that we run into. So when you hear someone say archetypes, they may be using pantheons as an archetype. So you see a lot of times that certain pantheon of gods come up as archetypes such as the Orisha the Roman gods, and that then for that example, the Greek gods, as well as the Egyptians, or commit gods as well. So that's really what we're talking about. But it's also been adopted in other areas. So psychology, you see the 16 personalities. You'll also see there's a book Call, man, what is it? I think it's the Kings journey or the Kings within, and that one has like six archetypes. It's the wanderer. The the orphan The Wanderer, the King, the hero, the warrior. There's another one I may be forgetting. Okay. You said the ogre, the Joker. Joker, I don't remember a joker in that one. Right. But I always like to study pantheons. And just so people have the understanding of why these things are important. You know, we talked about marketing and PR earlier, spirituality getting clients, in everything that you do, you have to understand the people that you're running into. If you think people are just in two versions, black or white, right or wrong, you're gonna get it wrong 90% of the time. And I mean, a broken clock is right twice a day, but I'm pretty sure you'd like to be a lot more accurate. And the best way to do that is to understand archetypes, right. And where I get to have a lot of art typical conversations is with spiritual people. Because there is a lot of there's a huge desire to be able to break down and classify energy. And a lot of people perceive that through behavior. So it's real easy to have those conversations with spiritual people with psychologists with people who are really deep into their business and marketing. You get a lot of really cool art typical conversations like this one, right? Like, for example, if we just wanted to throw a whole new archetype into play, right, and I'm pretty sure somebody already uses this, but you could literally take each of the chakras and then break them down into certain personality types. And there, you have an archetype system and go, Oh, well, you know, that's a root chakra base person, they're always going out buying nice things and, you know, trying to earn as much money that person is a very sacred type person, they're always moving within their sensuality. flowy he's always flicking his hair. And so that's really how you can begin to understand the people that you come into contact with. They're different types of people, many different types of people. So
Dana Humphrey 44:19
yeah, I have well, I have that I have the chakra system. I painted it on my door here. I don't know if you can see it behind me, but I'm like, super into it. And I think that's an interesting. Yeah, that's an interesting path. You know, it's like, yeah, the pleasure seeker, right, or like the person who's like all about like, let's just be happy or like, the one that's like, let me like, call in my inner guidance, you know, or the singer. Right. It's like all about speaking. I feel like you're more blue chakra. Really? Yeah.
I think I was gonna go green. And I was gonna say that because I tell people truth that they don't want to hear.
Dana Humphrey 45:05
That's blue. Because that's it. To me blue is all about like speaking. Okay speaking speaking, speaking engagements speaking your truth. If there's like, yes, sure accountability is love. Absolutely. Right. You need some deep love to tell someone some hard truths. Absolutely. So yeah,
I will. I said that one because it the way that it was taught to me at first was to be in that space of your heart chakra. You have to tell truths to yourself and telling truths to yourself, is a harsh place to be. So my my teacher would always be like, Man, you tell yourself so much truth that you show up and you tell everybody truths. But nobody asked for that. Please shut up. So I was like, Okay, shut up now. But that's really what it was, is like, I'm so honest with myself, I'll sit there and be like, so you just go ignore the fact that what you did was the, and then there'll be like, but you do it. I'm like, that may be true. My apologies. Now back to you. Right now. Like, it's like, yeah, well, I'm not gonna divert it. And once you say you own it, the conversations over, so that's why I thought green, but I might need to look into the blue. Um, so Okay. For yourself, where would you place yourself? For those trying to get to know Dana a little bit more? What type of person is Dana? I mean, but now let's throw that into the, the chocolate.
Dana Humphrey 46:37
I really identified with the art like orange for a long time with like happiness. And I do think probably most people see me as like pleasure seeking and kind of like, yeah, like happy vibe. But lately, I think I've really been like, focusing on my third eye. And the purple. I've really been focusing on my intuition and, and like really listening to myself. So that's kind of like where I am right now. But I would say most people, if they meet me would probably call me, Orange.
All right, sweet, sweet. So we are at the point in the podcast where I would normally ask for a story for a story, right? And story for a story just means you pick a wild, crazy, fun story. It could be any type of story, we usually opt for wild or fun. And I will match your story with a story. Right? But hopefully, either which way, it's a story that somebody can learn a lesson from.
Dana Humphrey 47:42
All right, well, I mean, I just wrote a book. It's called May all beings be fed. There's all kinds of all my stories are in here is my memoir. I'm trying to think about one.
Well, you know, something that's been in the back of my mind this whole time, I want to share, and recently was in Mexico, and I saw my uncle, and my uncle just had a stroke. And we were sitting out by the pool, and I had just had COVID. So I was like, sitting like six feet away from him or whatever. And we're like, outside, he's having a beer. And he's been a cigarette smoker for like, 25 years. And, you know, he just had a stroke. He's like, Yeah, like, the docs are telling me I gotta quit smoking. And I'm like, Uh, huh. Do you want to? And he's like, Yeah, well, the Ducks like, the doctors are telling me I need to. And I'm like, Yeah, you didn't ask the question. Like, do you want to quit smoking? And he's like, Well, no, I like it. I'm like, Well, yeah, I yeah, I that's what I thought. That's I thought if you wanted to stop you would. But you like it. So you keep doing it. And he's like, Well, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, Okay, so are you gonna, like, it? Sounds like you don't really want to stop, you know? And I'm like, I was like, Have you thought about hypnotherapy? To change your mind about wanting to smoke and he was like, You know what? That was the only thing that ever worked for my father, which is my grandfather, which I didn't I've never known that. I've never known an apparent Yeah, apparently he was a smoker. And he did hypnotherapy and he stopped smoking. And, and then I told my mom this story, and she was like, oh, yeah, that's because I wouldn't. When she was pregnant with me, she wouldn't ride in the car with him because he would smoke cigarettes and he had to stop. So it's like, so interesting, like, all the different kind of like rounds of the question. But um, anyway, um, I'm hoping that he does some hypnotherapy and like, get some maybe changes his mind or you know, what is the old man like, do what he likes? You know, I don't care.
I'm completely with you there right like I know I'm just couple of people I can think of off the top of my head in Barbados that are old, this dirt, and they smoke or they drink, and they just do all of the unhealthy things. And then you look at people who are like in their 30s. And you like, you got liver problems, bro. Like, they don't make those things like they used to her. So that's exactly how I feel about it if you actually funny enough, and I'm, I'll tell this story. And this is a by proxy story. Right? So a friend of mine in New York with sent me a story about, you know, his, his nuclear family and the nuclear family he created, right. So we I finally get there. Right. And this is right after our other best friend pass, or I'm flying back to New York for first time in years. Right. I thought it was him that I was walking up on, but it wasn't him. So I did what you're supposed to do what I thought was right, I clapped mad loud. So the doctor him he was like, Yo, so he could see who's coming up. Because I don't want to just run up on his guy. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what he's got. He wasn't him. But I say y'all, I'm looking for my man. So and so my man comes down the stairs. And, you know, we parley he goes, Oh, thought this was you? Whatever. But when it comes down the stairs, this is in the projects, right? And this is explaining why my mannerisms were what they were. Because this is my first time back in New York in a while. But I also noticed that across the street from the projects is like somebody sipping a smoothie, or has like it, this is different and you feel safe doing that. But I still understand the projects is the project. What happens inside of that maze is totally different than what's gonna go on across the street. So we go on head, go upstairs, his baby mom's there, his family, her family's there, all of that. So a couple of weeks go by, right and this was just so you guys could get introduced to the characters. A couple of weeks go by he calls me up. I'm back in California. goes, Yo, I can't believe what just happened. I go what happened? He said, My so and so's mom just stole $1,500 from me. So what? Why would she do that? He goes, she wants rugs, bro. I was like, Ah, okay. I was like, so why not let her come around? He's like, cuz the only he's like, so the only person in the house that's not on drugs is grandma. I was like, grandpa. He said, Yeah, grandpa. I said grandpa's not on drugs. Now you got to understand this is why I'm saying grandpa cannot be on drugs. There's no way Grandpa is on drugs, right? Grandpa is like a stone's throw away from 90 and is getting up moving around. I was like, oh, so crackheads strength is real. And it lasts a very long time. So if the you know, so sometimes it's not nicotine, right. But sometimes you just like doing it, that you'll do it all the way into your 90s. And you'll be strong enough to watch your daughter come in the house and steal 1500 for it. But that's the story. I'm sharing it in love. The moral of the story is do what you like to do.
That is the moral of the story. So Dana, wrapping it up, right in the spirit of taking it home, we want to bring it home strong. What is the last piece of advice that you would give to our listeners? The best thing for them right now that wherever they are in life, right, we're talking entrepreneurs, who are just trying to balance it, right? They, they might be having some issues when it comes to their purpose, they might be having some issues when it comes to making connections. They may be having issues when it comes to their own health and their own self care for people trying to balance those three areas right. Now the same thing we talked about, with everything being connected, what's the best piece of advice you have for those people?
Dana Humphrey 54:37
Well, I mean, I really see self care as the first part of everything. If you don't have self care, none of those other parts are going to work out. You have to keep take care of yourself, whatever that looks like for you and take time for yourself, nurture yourself, you know rest or you're gonna get burnt out. But I like to share Here, I like to share one of my favorite quotes and I think it kind of goes along with what we were talking about. It's don't copy the world, be a different person with a fresh newness and all you do and think. And yeah, it's like there's no right and wrong just do what you want and take care of yourself and that's the best thing you can do for the world really. If you show up well taken care of. You're not going to be so grumpy and reactive and all the other stuff.
No, I definitely agree with that. And for everybody listening, go be great.
Unknown Speaker 55:34
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